| 1995 World Championships Berlin, Germany |
April 18, 1995
I’m on flight 1476 to Chicago from San Antonio and I’ll tell you right now I’m not really enjoying. First the flight was delayed for two hours for
bad weather and I was pissed. Now I wish it was delayed for a whole damn day. There’s a damn store with winds coming from hell but I can
honsestly say if this plane were to go down right now I really wouldn’t give a fuck. As you can see by my writing this flight really sucks so I’ll go
ahead and leave it at that. Want to switch places? I’m here over 10,000 feet above you with a damn storm hard winds at 30mph … I wouldn’t.
April 18, 1995
I lost track I’m just about to arrive in Frankfurt in about another house. Me and two other boxer are arriving a day late. We all missed the flight
out of Chicago yesterday, so we all got to spend the night in Chicago which I didn’t mind. Reading back at what I wrote coming into to Chicago
is now funny as hell but when I wrote it it was definitely nothing to laugh about. I thought that damn plane was going down. Well as you can
see, it didn’t. Well……..at least not this one. This flight was alright I really enjoyed it. First of all because I flew first class and boy do you get
pampered. Also because I sat next to a very very interesting man named Carl. He was 66 years old and was born in Germany but now live in
San Francisco. He was one of Hitler’s youths and I was fascinated by what he told me so I enjoyed this flight hopefully I’ll be alive and write
tomorrow.
April ? 10..11 or 12?
I’ve been here two days and it sucks. They have us out here in the middle of nowhere it’s like a damn concentration camp. We had to walk 3
miles to a fucken supermarket and buy something to munch on because these damn coaches are nuts they have us eating two meals a day.
So right now im glad I have a lot of homework to do or else I’d be going crazy. Today was our first day of training and it went alright but these
are the biggest fucken cry babies I’ve ever been on a trip with. They think training is supposed to be fun. If they want to have a fun workout
they should rent a Richard Simmons video. I just can’t wait to get to Berlin where we’re going to fight. They say they have alright clubs……..
after the fights of course. We’re here in ? about 400 miles from Berlin so as you can see I’m still alive and hopefully I’ll write tomorrow.
April ? Saturday
Well today I receive some good news during our morning run. They told me it was Saturday you really don’t keep track of the dates here it’s
really just a day by day thing which I don’t mind but me having all these work I have to keep up with the days. It’s 4:22 right now and we don’t
eat dinner until 6pm so I’ll just kick back until then since it’s early in the day and I don’t have much to write I’ll give you a run down on our daily
schedule. Well, we wake up at about 730am be at the track at 8 run about 6 or 7 miles come back and wait until 10 for breakfast, go train at 1
after that just hang out until 6 ? dinner then go train again at 8. So I have some free time to do some work other than that, that’s my schedule.
Many people just watch the easy part on TV which is boxing but you don’t have the slightest idea what it takes to get there.
April ? Wednesday
Shit, I completely forgot about this journal. It’s 939am we just finished running and I felt great. I’m in great shape all but my damn knee. It looks
like I swallowed a damn golf ball and it went directly to my knee. We got about 7 more days in this fucken concentration camp. The first couple
of days did suck but now we (me and a guy from Cali) met some friends and we’ve been able to get out of this camp and go look around town.
Everything else has been running pretty smooth but I’d rather be in San Antonio. (gotta go, 9:43)
It’s 1008 just got back from breakfast and I don’t feel like writing going to sleep, goodnight.
April 29 or 28 on Saturday
Well once again I know I was supposed to write a day by day journal of everything we do but I forgot. There’s not much to write about here in
training camp. It’s basically the same routine we wake up at 7, out to the track at 8, run between 5-8 miles, finish by 9 , breakfast at 10, sleep
until 12 , at the gym at 1 finish by 3 kickback until 730 then back to the gym at 8 other than that the rest of the time is free time (yeah right)
Yesterday was different we fought (USA Team) the German national team we did pretty good. It was a so called sparring match. But when we
got there they had lights, cameras and to top it off a big ass German crowd all but a couple of guys who were from the US but stationed here
(in the Army) I fought the guy that was ranked #1 in the world many people including some of my team mates thought he was going to kick my
ass well I wasn’t really surprised with the guy I can’t honestly say I beat the shit out of him and I wasn’t the only one who thought that. Most
people told me I won well it’s 320 and I have to do some more work on my research paper so bye.
Monday
I’m so happy three more fucken days and outta of this shit hole training camp that ? I don’t mind the jogging in the morning and training its just
the fucken people here they are starting to get on my fucken nerves so I feel like just beating the shit out of someone and not in the ring, out
here, right now. First my fucken roommate Bobby Lewis is a dumbass goes through all my shit, get my shit without ever asking and to top it off
he’s a fuckin messy motherfucker plus he also smells like shit. He’s one weight class above me he fights 147 I wish he was my weight so we
could fight. I already fought him twice beat him twice, yeah we finally get the hell out of here and go to Berlin for about 10 days but at least it
will be a different atmosphere and hopefully my whole shitty attitude will change everybody’s just getting on my fucken nerves I’m pissed and
locked her in my room right now the only people I hang around with and don’t get on my nerves are the girls I met here. I mean I’m not trying
to get in their panties or anything there just fucken cool I’ll probably miss them when I leave. Well that’s all the bullshit going on over here…
wanna trade places?
April ? same day
It’s exactly 11:56 and we are ready to sneak out of our rooms. (side of paper says May 5 95’) well it’s like two days later and I don’t know why I
wrote that down the notebook and pen were right by the window where we were going to jump out and I wrote it down. Well we did get out went
to a couple of clubs and just hung out. We didn’t get back until 4am We are now in Berlin. Yeah, it’s a lot better here. The rooms are a lot
better plus we have TV in our rooms. Well we weigh in tomorrow and I’m right on weight, 63.5K. well I might fight tomorrow, to tell you the truth I
really don’t give a fuck if I win or lose I mean I’m going to try my best but if I lose I really won’t give a shit. I just want to get home I’m tired of all
the people up here but I’m just going up in the ring just to box , relax not really to go all out and kill myself I just don’t give a shit about amateur
boxing I’m ready to turn pro. Well I’ll leave on that note.
May 7
It’s the 7th of May and I’m so tired of this shit. I fight tomorrow. I’ll fight a guy from Lithuania hopefully things go well but like I said I’m just going
to perform I really don’t care if I win or lose I just want to get the fuck outta here well I’ll write after the fight.
One day after my fight (you’re gonna like this one) I lost by DQ for some kind of bullshit yeah so after the fight I went to McDonalds had 4
cheeseburgers, 2 large fries and the biggest soda they had. I got back to my room and ordered a large pizza for me and a friend (Diego) and
we tore it up in my room. They call me at 130 in the morning and say they protested my fight and I can fight the same guy again but I have to
make weight I was 8 pounds over. So I say yeah I’m all excited put my stuff on go for a jog at 2am but on my lonely jog I have time to think and
realize that this is one of the ways to get USA Boxing back for all the bullshit they have put me through I mean I didn’t give a fuck about
amateur boxing so I do it. I don’t fight now everyone is mad at me but you know what they can all kiss my ass cause I don’t give a shit.
May 15
Finally on my way home we are about 3 or 4 hours into our flight into Chicago and I’m just glad all this shit is over I’ll probably get suspended
from Amateur boxing because of what I did but all I did was say the truth which was the US is full of shit. But once again saying the truth got me
in trouble in their eyes but like I’ve said millions of times before I don’t give a shit. If saying the truth sends me to my grave early I’ll go with a
smile. This is the first time I really think seriously about going to college I want to go and take a class that has to do with our Government. Just
for my own knowledge not to get a good paying job or anything I mean I want to know what the fuck is really going on in our Government why
its so fucked up people take it for granted (I don’t) that humans flesh aint shit to the government that’s why the fucken president is just sending
bodies all over the world trying to protect other countries trying to help them out. Fuck them take care of us first. I don’t see his ass out there
standing guard with a fucken gun. These fucken people have families I bet if his little fucken son or daughter wanted to join the service he
would be totally against it cause he know its fucked up he’s just to much of a punk to speak up. It’s fucken fear of the truth that’s all it comes
down to. “Facing the truth” Something that many people can’t do cause they are scared well enough of that shit the last couple of days up
here were alright as a matter of fact they kicked ass all we did was hang out and tried to get laid! It was fun I was kind of the outcast and I can
honestly say I enjoyed it’s not the first time though I’ll be home in about 12 hours and I’ll be in school in about 23 hours. See ya.
I’m on flight 1476 to Chicago from San Antonio and I’ll tell you right now I’m not really enjoying. First the flight was delayed for two hours for
bad weather and I was pissed. Now I wish it was delayed for a whole damn day. There’s a damn store with winds coming from hell but I can
honsestly say if this plane were to go down right now I really wouldn’t give a fuck. As you can see by my writing this flight really sucks so I’ll go
ahead and leave it at that. Want to switch places? I’m here over 10,000 feet above you with a damn storm hard winds at 30mph … I wouldn’t.
April 18, 1995
I lost track I’m just about to arrive in Frankfurt in about another house. Me and two other boxer are arriving a day late. We all missed the flight
out of Chicago yesterday, so we all got to spend the night in Chicago which I didn’t mind. Reading back at what I wrote coming into to Chicago
is now funny as hell but when I wrote it it was definitely nothing to laugh about. I thought that damn plane was going down. Well as you can
see, it didn’t. Well……..at least not this one. This flight was alright I really enjoyed it. First of all because I flew first class and boy do you get
pampered. Also because I sat next to a very very interesting man named Carl. He was 66 years old and was born in Germany but now live in
San Francisco. He was one of Hitler’s youths and I was fascinated by what he told me so I enjoyed this flight hopefully I’ll be alive and write
tomorrow.
April ? 10..11 or 12?
I’ve been here two days and it sucks. They have us out here in the middle of nowhere it’s like a damn concentration camp. We had to walk 3
miles to a fucken supermarket and buy something to munch on because these damn coaches are nuts they have us eating two meals a day.
So right now im glad I have a lot of homework to do or else I’d be going crazy. Today was our first day of training and it went alright but these
are the biggest fucken cry babies I’ve ever been on a trip with. They think training is supposed to be fun. If they want to have a fun workout
they should rent a Richard Simmons video. I just can’t wait to get to Berlin where we’re going to fight. They say they have alright clubs……..
after the fights of course. We’re here in ? about 400 miles from Berlin so as you can see I’m still alive and hopefully I’ll write tomorrow.
April ? Saturday
Well today I receive some good news during our morning run. They told me it was Saturday you really don’t keep track of the dates here it’s
really just a day by day thing which I don’t mind but me having all these work I have to keep up with the days. It’s 4:22 right now and we don’t
eat dinner until 6pm so I’ll just kick back until then since it’s early in the day and I don’t have much to write I’ll give you a run down on our daily
schedule. Well, we wake up at about 730am be at the track at 8 run about 6 or 7 miles come back and wait until 10 for breakfast, go train at 1
after that just hang out until 6 ? dinner then go train again at 8. So I have some free time to do some work other than that, that’s my schedule.
Many people just watch the easy part on TV which is boxing but you don’t have the slightest idea what it takes to get there.
April ? Wednesday
Shit, I completely forgot about this journal. It’s 939am we just finished running and I felt great. I’m in great shape all but my damn knee. It looks
like I swallowed a damn golf ball and it went directly to my knee. We got about 7 more days in this fucken concentration camp. The first couple
of days did suck but now we (me and a guy from Cali) met some friends and we’ve been able to get out of this camp and go look around town.
Everything else has been running pretty smooth but I’d rather be in San Antonio. (gotta go, 9:43)
It’s 1008 just got back from breakfast and I don’t feel like writing going to sleep, goodnight.
April 29 or 28 on Saturday
Well once again I know I was supposed to write a day by day journal of everything we do but I forgot. There’s not much to write about here in
training camp. It’s basically the same routine we wake up at 7, out to the track at 8, run between 5-8 miles, finish by 9 , breakfast at 10, sleep
until 12 , at the gym at 1 finish by 3 kickback until 730 then back to the gym at 8 other than that the rest of the time is free time (yeah right)
Yesterday was different we fought (USA Team) the German national team we did pretty good. It was a so called sparring match. But when we
got there they had lights, cameras and to top it off a big ass German crowd all but a couple of guys who were from the US but stationed here
(in the Army) I fought the guy that was ranked #1 in the world many people including some of my team mates thought he was going to kick my
ass well I wasn’t really surprised with the guy I can’t honestly say I beat the shit out of him and I wasn’t the only one who thought that. Most
people told me I won well it’s 320 and I have to do some more work on my research paper so bye.
Monday
I’m so happy three more fucken days and outta of this shit hole training camp that ? I don’t mind the jogging in the morning and training its just
the fucken people here they are starting to get on my fucken nerves so I feel like just beating the shit out of someone and not in the ring, out
here, right now. First my fucken roommate Bobby Lewis is a dumbass goes through all my shit, get my shit without ever asking and to top it off
he’s a fuckin messy motherfucker plus he also smells like shit. He’s one weight class above me he fights 147 I wish he was my weight so we
could fight. I already fought him twice beat him twice, yeah we finally get the hell out of here and go to Berlin for about 10 days but at least it
will be a different atmosphere and hopefully my whole shitty attitude will change everybody’s just getting on my fucken nerves I’m pissed and
locked her in my room right now the only people I hang around with and don’t get on my nerves are the girls I met here. I mean I’m not trying
to get in their panties or anything there just fucken cool I’ll probably miss them when I leave. Well that’s all the bullshit going on over here…
wanna trade places?
April ? same day
It’s exactly 11:56 and we are ready to sneak out of our rooms. (side of paper says May 5 95’) well it’s like two days later and I don’t know why I
wrote that down the notebook and pen were right by the window where we were going to jump out and I wrote it down. Well we did get out went
to a couple of clubs and just hung out. We didn’t get back until 4am We are now in Berlin. Yeah, it’s a lot better here. The rooms are a lot
better plus we have TV in our rooms. Well we weigh in tomorrow and I’m right on weight, 63.5K. well I might fight tomorrow, to tell you the truth I
really don’t give a fuck if I win or lose I mean I’m going to try my best but if I lose I really won’t give a shit. I just want to get home I’m tired of all
the people up here but I’m just going up in the ring just to box , relax not really to go all out and kill myself I just don’t give a shit about amateur
boxing I’m ready to turn pro. Well I’ll leave on that note.
May 7
It’s the 7th of May and I’m so tired of this shit. I fight tomorrow. I’ll fight a guy from Lithuania hopefully things go well but like I said I’m just going
to perform I really don’t care if I win or lose I just want to get the fuck outta here well I’ll write after the fight.
One day after my fight (you’re gonna like this one) I lost by DQ for some kind of bullshit yeah so after the fight I went to McDonalds had 4
cheeseburgers, 2 large fries and the biggest soda they had. I got back to my room and ordered a large pizza for me and a friend (Diego) and
we tore it up in my room. They call me at 130 in the morning and say they protested my fight and I can fight the same guy again but I have to
make weight I was 8 pounds over. So I say yeah I’m all excited put my stuff on go for a jog at 2am but on my lonely jog I have time to think and
realize that this is one of the ways to get USA Boxing back for all the bullshit they have put me through I mean I didn’t give a fuck about
amateur boxing so I do it. I don’t fight now everyone is mad at me but you know what they can all kiss my ass cause I don’t give a shit.
May 15
Finally on my way home we are about 3 or 4 hours into our flight into Chicago and I’m just glad all this shit is over I’ll probably get suspended
from Amateur boxing because of what I did but all I did was say the truth which was the US is full of shit. But once again saying the truth got me
in trouble in their eyes but like I’ve said millions of times before I don’t give a shit. If saying the truth sends me to my grave early I’ll go with a
smile. This is the first time I really think seriously about going to college I want to go and take a class that has to do with our Government. Just
for my own knowledge not to get a good paying job or anything I mean I want to know what the fuck is really going on in our Government why
its so fucked up people take it for granted (I don’t) that humans flesh aint shit to the government that’s why the fucken president is just sending
bodies all over the world trying to protect other countries trying to help them out. Fuck them take care of us first. I don’t see his ass out there
standing guard with a fucken gun. These fucken people have families I bet if his little fucken son or daughter wanted to join the service he
would be totally against it cause he know its fucked up he’s just to much of a punk to speak up. It’s fucken fear of the truth that’s all it comes
down to. “Facing the truth” Something that many people can’t do cause they are scared well enough of that shit the last couple of days up
here were alright as a matter of fact they kicked ass all we did was hang out and tried to get laid! It was fun I was kind of the outcast and I can
honestly say I enjoyed it’s not the first time though I’ll be home in about 12 hours and I’ll be in school in about 23 hours. See ya.
It didn't quite end the way it was supposed too. Then again, does anything ever end the way it supposed to? As I skim through all these "old
papers" my father has had safely tucked away in a steel box for close to 20 years I come across a journal. A journal of my journey about my
last amateur boxing tournament. The 1995 World Championships in Germany. It happen to be the year that the number 1 ranked boxer in the
world in my weight was from Germany, Oktay Urkal (96' Olympic Silver medalist). This made things interesting. If I was going to win this
tournament I wasn't just going to have to beat the number 1 ranked boxer in the world I was going to have to do it in his backyard, in
Germany. I remember Antonio Tarver telling me how good Oktay was. He went on to say that was "his boy".Yeah, his boy. I remember thinking
to myself, " who's fucken side you on?" Well Tarver went on to win the Gold Medal and well I won one as well. Just not in sports, but in life. The
memories this journal brings back are heart felt. They are journal entries my father "forced" me to write. He'd hand me a notebook and say,
"write down what you do". I used to hate doing it. But I did it. I didn't understand why he wanted me to do things like this back then but i did
them anyway. Out of respect. I understood then the same way I understand it now. He's been on this earth much longer than I have. So he
has me beat with parental wisdom. As you read through the entries of this journal keep in mind I was 18 at the time. Much has changed since
then. I have changed since then. But as you read through them you'll also realize, as i did, that the core of I is the same. I am who I am cause
of who I was. I am, I.
papers" my father has had safely tucked away in a steel box for close to 20 years I come across a journal. A journal of my journey about my
last amateur boxing tournament. The 1995 World Championships in Germany. It happen to be the year that the number 1 ranked boxer in the
world in my weight was from Germany, Oktay Urkal (96' Olympic Silver medalist). This made things interesting. If I was going to win this
tournament I wasn't just going to have to beat the number 1 ranked boxer in the world I was going to have to do it in his backyard, in
Germany. I remember Antonio Tarver telling me how good Oktay was. He went on to say that was "his boy".Yeah, his boy. I remember thinking
to myself, " who's fucken side you on?" Well Tarver went on to win the Gold Medal and well I won one as well. Just not in sports, but in life. The
memories this journal brings back are heart felt. They are journal entries my father "forced" me to write. He'd hand me a notebook and say,
"write down what you do". I used to hate doing it. But I did it. I didn't understand why he wanted me to do things like this back then but i did
them anyway. Out of respect. I understood then the same way I understand it now. He's been on this earth much longer than I have. So he
has me beat with parental wisdom. As you read through the entries of this journal keep in mind I was 18 at the time. Much has changed since
then. I have changed since then. But as you read through them you'll also realize, as i did, that the core of I is the same. I am who I am cause
of who I was. I am, I.
| Click on thumbnails to view original list of Team USA. |
| Below are 12 pages of the original journal entries dating back to 1995. Below you will also find plain text of my journal entries. (Spiral notebooks are not made for left handed people - messy handwriting) |
| PART II The Decision not to fight. |
| PART II The Decision not to fight. |
1995 World Championship Team
106 Pedro Pena
112 Arnulfo Brazo
119 Carlos Navarro
125 Floyd Mayweather
132 Diego Corrales
139 Arturo Ramos
147 Bobby Lewis
156 Jeffrey Clark
165 Eric Wright
178 Antonio Tarver
201 Davarryl Williams
201 Lawrence Clay-Bey
106 Pedro Pena
112 Arnulfo Brazo
119 Carlos Navarro
125 Floyd Mayweather
132 Diego Corrales
139 Arturo Ramos
147 Bobby Lewis
156 Jeffrey Clark
165 Eric Wright
178 Antonio Tarver
201 Davarryl Williams
201 Lawrence Clay-Bey
| Disqualification gets overturned for S.A.'s Ramos at Berlin event. |